Reflections by Rev. Grant Dawson

Some thoughts on making a fuss

All of us carry from our earliest childhood those principles and precepts that guide us through the complexities of daily behaviour. Some are trivial like, “Tuck in your shirt.” and “Wash your hands before dinner.” And some are rather more important like “Tell the truth.” and “Show respect to other people.”

One that I have been thinking about recently is, “Don’t make a fuss!” And I admit that sentiment still does make sense. None of us likes to see other people making fools of themselves complaining loudly about trivia or upsetting every meeting they attend with a long list of gripes and complaints.” However, there are times when, seeing an injustice, we know that we must speak up. And there are moments when the plans of a gathering need to be challenged. So how can we do this without being seen as constant complainers or garrulous grumps?

Firstly, we should keep a balance in what we say. The psychologist, John Gottman suggests in life in general making five positive statements to every negative one. This means that when we do complain, people will listen as we are usually so cheery.

Then we should talk first with others to make sure our complaints are well founded and people will know before the confrontation where we are coming from and what our intentions are.

And finally, we must always complain constructively. Making a fuss is not just about saying negative things, but more effectively about spicing things up with new, positive, and creative ideas.

Yes, we do need to make a fuss at times, but always with an enthusiasm for the good of the group and a pointed desire to make things better.

Grant

A Prayer 

God, Eternal Source of all Wisdom, I see so much that goes on around me that disturbs me and makes me want to change things.

Help me always to remember that my first task is to love others, and only in that mood to bring about change.

Help me to think before I speak, to plan before I criticize.

Give me the insight to see problems in a new light, and to bring about change through fresh ideas with the help of others.

Amen.